And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize