And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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