am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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