We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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