So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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