she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize