so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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