So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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