I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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