Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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