I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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