Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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