I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My feet surprised me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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