Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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