so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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