Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize