so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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