Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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