dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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