she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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