I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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