fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize