My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize