was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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