I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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