that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize