I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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