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in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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