do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize