my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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