Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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