I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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