I need to stop coming to work sober
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize