you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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