currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize