You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
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My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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