who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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