I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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