Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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