Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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