Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
well you can't waste a boner
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize