you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize