Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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