I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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