Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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