i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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