Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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