hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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