he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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