this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dicks are not precious.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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